YEAR OF INQUIRY | MONTH 4 THE MONTH OF Σχέση | Relationship

I began this Year of Inquiry into Healing with a question I wanted to spend time with: What are we healing?

Each month, a Greek word offers a doorway. Returning to Greek evokes a different part of my experience of the word. Its etymology draws me closer, sometimes shifting a meaning I thought I knew. As my relationship with the word changes, so does what it invites me to consider about healing.

We began in July with BEINGNESS, with what is here before we name or explain it. August invited us into PRESENCE and September into the WONDER that becomes possible when we pause before deciding we know. In October, we bring these inquiries into Σχέση, RELATIONSHIP.

Think of someone with whom you can take your time finding the words. Notice how you experience yourself in their company. Then think of someone around whom you become quieter, or agree before you have had a chance to feel what you think.

Both experiences belong to you. Yet each encounter allows something different to emerge,or asks something of you to retreat. This makes me curious about how much of who we become takes shape between us.

Our histories enter these encounters too. Earlier experiences of being welcomed or dismissed influence what we risk saying and what we expect to hear. Sometimes we hear an old dismissal in a new voice. The other person brings their history, and neither of us can see everything that is entering the conversation.

September’s WONDER invites a pause here, especially with those we feel we already know. Familiarity can make it easy to respond to our idea of someone. Meanwhile, the person before us may be finding their way towards something we have never heard them say.

I recognise this in therapy. My wish to understand can arrive before the person has found their own words. Staying present asks me to notice that wish and allow their experience time to take shape, even when it unsettles my understanding.

A person may be discovering whether uncertainty is welcome here, whether they can disagree, or whether silence can remain without being filled. How I receive these moments becomes part of what they can experience with me.

Sometimes, in the company of another, we hear ourselves say something we did not know we felt. We risk a difference and discover that the connection remains. Gradually, something we have held back may find room to be expressed.

Relationship can hurt us deeply. Being met with care may help us risk being present again, at a pace we can bear.

This month, I want to notice these possibilities in ordinary encounters as well as in the therapy room. To remain curious about who I become with another, and how my presence participates in their experience too.

Perhaps this brings me back to the question of healing through a different doorway.

Σχέση | Relationship

Who do I become in the presence of you?

When I am with you, who do I make room for you to become?

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ABOUT A YEAR OF INQUIRY

Over the coming year, I will be spending time with twelve Greek inspired inquiries and the questions they invite. Some of these words are ancient. Others have travelled through philosophy, poetry, mythology, and everyday life. Each carries a way of seeing, a way of relating, and a way of accompanying us in our exploration of what it means to be human.

Rather than moving quickly from one idea to the next, I will be living with one inquiry each month. Listening to it. Exploring its history. And following the questions it awakens. What is this Inquiry About? What is Healing?

The inquiry will follow me in my work, my relationships, my conversations, and my own unfolding. Follow me (here and on Instagram) through this year long journey and be part of the Inquiry too @nouladiamantopoulos.